"On December 18th, 1788, less than a year after the first settlers colonized Australia, an old cutthroat named Nicolas Crowder arrived on a boat with some other new settlers, took one look at the heat and privations, said "screw this," commandeered the boat, and set course on a one-man voyage to conquer the South Pole. Legend tells that he lives there still.
Every December 18th, "Old Nick" returns down under to find out if Australia's children have been naughty or nice. The nice children are given the greatest gift of all -- they are not abducted along with the naughty ones and carted off to the South Pole.
For the next twelve months, the naughty children make toys to Old Nick's exacting specifications. Then, on December 17th, the presents are gift-wrapped, placed in a sleigh, and driven to Old Nick's mansion, where he opens them. Naturally, given the sheer number of hats and weapons Old Nick receives, there are bound to be duplicates -- and every December 18th, he posts them online, selling them at prices so low that he's practically giving them away."
Merry Australian Christmas!
-The Everyday All Nighter
P.S. That's and actual photo of me on Old Nick's knee... Hooray!
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